When Summer Isn’t a Vacation
Summer isn’t always a vacation when you’re a stepmom. Learn how to manage shifting schedules and expectations—without losing your mind.
Read MoreI still remember my very first Mother’s Day with Bernard. He had invited his parents, his brothers and their wives along with their kids. A family meal. To celebrate Mother’s Day. By the end of the day, I ended up in his room, crying. We had different expectations around how this day would be celebrated. We hadn’t talked about it before had so I assumed we were on the same page.
Now, 30 years later, all I really care about when it comes to Mother’s Day is that my husband tells me how much he appreciates me. I’ll get a call or a text from the stepdaughters and my son, but not every year. It just depends on what’s happened. I’ve decided to let go, because at the end of the day, what’s important is that I know what I’ve contributed to the family and my impact in their lives.
There are many reasons why our stepkids may not want to honor us on a day that is all about motherhood and sharing our appreciation towards them:
Talk with your spouse about your thoughts and expectations. Don’t wait for him to figure out that you’re hurting. Speak up and say something, as nicely and gently as you can.
Reevaluate your expectations. Where do your expectations come from? Are they realistic to the current situation you’re living in? Will those expectations help you foster closeness or coldness?
Take some time to pamper yourself in a way that will make you feel appreciated by YOU! This could be to spend some time doing your favorite hobby like reading or painting, or some self-care like a long soak in the tub, with your favorite music and treats.
Reach out to fellow stepmoms who may be going through similar feelings as you. Take the time to honor and celebrate one another, not to commiserate.
Tags
boundaries, couples, expectations, family, giveaway, loyalty binds, marriage, Mother's Day, relationship, remarriage, social stepmom, stepkids, stepmom, stepmommag
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Summer isn’t always a vacation when you’re a stepmom. Learn how to manage shifting schedules and expectations—without losing your mind.
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