I needed to accept and acknowledge that I wasn’t the first “wife” in my husband’s life, that he had a past which created his two daughters.
His ex-wife would always be a part of “this family” whether I liked it or not. He may have divorced her but she was and will forever be the mother of his girls.
We all have our view of what a family should look like and how it functions. It doesn’t mean my way is better than anyone else, so I had to learn to let go of some of my expectations.
As a couple, we needed to work extra hard at finding time alone so that we could build a solid foundation for our marriage. Not spending time together only increased the gap between him and his girls and my son and I.
Focusing too much on what others (meaning his ex-wife) thought of my skills as a mother created more conflict than was necessary. There were times, I’m sure, I fabricated a few stories out of fear of not being good enough.
Life is full of phases and when you understand what phase you are in, it really helps to navigate and keep your head above water until the things calm down.
Asking for help is actually a sign of strength and not weakness. That is the one lesson that I personally had to learn and put into practice. Putting aside my ego of being able to do everything on my own was the worst strategy I could use in this relationship. Showing my vulnerable side actually made me more approachable to my family.
If you are struggling in your stepfamily relationship and are looking for help in creating more happiness and harmony, check out my new 90 Group Coaching Program that will address the issues most stepfamilies face. Click HERE to find out more.
Tags
acceptance, marriage, remarriage, stepfamilies, stepmom, what is a family
The original content you just enjoyed is copyright protected by The Stepmom Coach—aka Claudette Chenevert—who proudly offers information, tips, products and other resources for building better relationships “one STEP at a time” via 1:1 coaching, self-guided coursework and more. Suitability is to be determined by individual users based on their own concerns and circumstances, as The Stepmom Coach does not endorse and is not liable for opinions expressed by third parties (i.e., advertisers, affiliates, audience members, clients).
As stepmoms, we often hold ourselves to impossible standards, especially during the holidays. But self-compassion and positive self-talk can transform how we handle stress and self-doubt. In this post, I share practical tips to reframe negativity, embrace affirmations, and nurture yourself this season.
Read MoreChange is as constant as the air we breathe, yet we often resist it out of fear or uncertainty. But what if resistance wasn’t the enemy? What if it was a signal to pause, reflect, and grow? In this post, we explore how to navigate change with grace, turn fear into opportunity, and embrace the lessons that come with life’s unexpected twists.
Read More