We just celebrated Father’s Day last weekend. Some dads grilled (or BBQed as we’d say back in Canada,) others went fishing with their kids or on their own, and then some probably enjoyed the FIFA World cup.
Bernard and I had a relatively quiet Father’s Day. Both our dads are no longer with us and our kids are all grown up now with kids of their own.
The girls did do a quick Google Hangout with him and that was it.
We spent the day drinking our favorite Starbucks, went over to Warrenton, appreciating the 200 Antique Cars on display, and ended up enjoying a late lunch at our local winery.
For us, Father’s Day was somewhat low key. Nothing elaborate.
A few weeks prior to Father’s Day, we were visiting friends and talking about Stepmother’s Day, explaining how it was important for us stepmoms to have our own day to be honored for what we do for the family, supporting our spouses, dealing with challenging exes. You know, all that stuff.
And then one of the guys mentioned “What about us Stepdads? Don’t we get some recognition too?”
And you know what? He was right. We focus so much on providing help and support for the stepmoms, that many stepdads feel left behind. You’re probably thinking “They don’t go through as much drama as us stepmoms.”
That might be true, but I’ll say this: stepdads may not feel recognized on Father’s Day unless they either have kids of their own, have a wife that is in tune with her partner’s challenges with being a stepdad, and have amazing stepkids that see him as their dad AND treat him as such.
Just like trying to find that card for a stepmom that’s not all gushy and over sentimental and yet is sincere and caring, it can be nearly impossible to find anything that will mention Happy Father’s Day to a stepdad (and if there is, please share with me.)
Lizzie Capuzzi, a twelve year girl wrote to her senator and asked to have stepmoms celebrated the Sunday AFTER Mother’s Day. So why not celebrate stepdads in the same way.
Let’s start this year by celebrating our partners/spouses who also took a risk in being a part of our families and becoming stepdads, not knowing fully what they were getting into, having no one and no place to go to talk about their issues of rejection and pushback from their stepkids and maybe even their spouses.
Let’s dedicate the Sunday AFTER Father’s Day to be StepFather’s Day and surprise him with a card, a beer, or simply a thank you for being there and being a part of our family.
I think this is a splendid idea, Claudette. I think one of the reasons why stepdads don’t get much attention is because women have been the primary caregivers probably since we came out of the primordial soup. I think anyone who is involved in bringing up children to be mature, responsible adults deserves a big round of applause.
Thanks Jackie.
I somewhat agree with you that women are seen as being the primary caregivers of children. It’s changing though and I’m so glad about it. More and more dads are becoming involved in the rearing of their kids. They are no longer sitting on the sidelines watching their spouses taking care of their children. With more women being the bread winners today, it makes sense to see dads in the role often viewed as “women’s work.” Mind you, I don’t think it’s equally divided – yet but hopefully one day it will.
Raising children is an important job, one that needs to be shared by all.