I used to think I had to speak up to belong.
For the introverted stepmom who feels overlooked in loud rooms—this post is a reflection on the power of deep listening, self-worth, and quiet connection.
Read More- Talk with your children before they come over for the summer. Take the time to call them up on the phone or via Skype and ask them what are two or three things they'd love to do.
- Make a list of things that you would like to do with them, such as camping, going to the zoo, seeing movies, doing some crafts, spending time visiting family, etc.
- Create several lists for different situations. For example, we had a list for indoor activities, outdoor activities, for when it was raining or sunny, a list when friends or family came over, and more. You get the idea. This will help generate ideas not only for the summer months but anytime you are stuck thinking of things to do.
- From that list created, sit together and plan a few things that each person would like to do and mark them on a calendar. It's too easy to "forget" to do things together and what you will find out is that summer is gone and you didn't do as much as you'd hope for.
- Take plenty of pictures. With digital today, there is no reason not to. These will help create stronger bonds and wonderful memories for everyone, especially for the children that don't live with you full time. Memory has a funny way of adjusting the events to fit people's desires.
- If you must work during the time your kids are with you, try bringing them to work on days that are not too busy and have them help out. It will give them a sense of who you are as a parent and you get to share special moments together. You might even be able to give them some jobs that they can get some compensation for.
- Consider the kids spending time with their grandparents and extended family. It is often more challenging for the extended family to get any kind of time with the children and often
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The original content you just enjoyed is copyright protected by The Stepmom Coach—aka Claudette Chenevert—who proudly offers information, tips, products and other resources for building better relationships “one STEP at a time” via 1:1 coaching, self-guided coursework and more. Suitability is to be determined by individual users based on their own concerns and circumstances, as The Stepmom Coach does not endorse and is not liable for opinions expressed by third parties (i.e., advertisers, affiliates, audience members, clients).
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Mother’s Day as a Stepmom: Honoring Yourself Authentically
Mother’s Day can be an emotional rollercoaster for stepmoms. I still remember my very first one—hoping for a simple card, a small acknowledgment that I mattered. Instead, I got nothing. No mention, no nod, no recognition. And what stung the most? Someone else was acknowledged.
I didn’t speak up. I held back my feelings. And by the end of the day, I broke down in tears. My son, only a child, felt my sadness and acted out. Looking back, I realize I had placed expectations on people who barely knew me. I hadn’t yet found my place in the family, let alone earned the space to be celebrated.
Now, years later, I understand that Mother’s Day doesn’t have to fit into one mold. In this blog, I share what I’ve learned about honoring your role, setting boundaries, and creating celebrations that reflect you—not what others expect.
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I rarely leave a response, however i did somе seaгching аnd wound up heгe Claudettе
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Grееtings! Very helpful aԁvісe in thiѕ particular
articlе! It іѕ the little changes that mаkе thе greateѕt changes.
Thanκs fоr shаring! -
For a period of time, my youngest daughter spent half the time with me and half the time with her dad. We were in the same city, so it wasn’t as much of a challenge, but we did plan activities. We also had things at both homes so that the transportation of belongings and clothing was reduced.
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Having belongings in both homes really helps a child feel they belong and have two homes. It’s challenging for them to always be between two places. Stability and consistency is really important for children. Glad to see that you made your daughter’s transitions between homes easier for her.
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Claudette,
SUPER article! Coming to you from the UBC! These are great suggestions in making better situation for what already is a difficult position many kids, and remarried parents deal with today. It is absolutely a soft spot in my heart how the breaking up of our families is affecting not only the kids and their parents, but our society in general. I agree with you that we may not always be able to control the situations that get us to where we are at BUT you can definitely make the most of the time you have and the things you can control! Making life joyful for the kids is key! THANKS so much for sharing; super job!-
Jeff, thanks for your feedback. Seeing my son and stepdaughters go through challenges because we as adults couldn’t be adults turned my life. Now, it’s my passion to help others create strong families.
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What a fantastic niche! I dealt with it in my youth. Summer can be much more fun and stress-free with your suggestions!
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Thanks Donavan for sharing. I’ve seen adults who were is stepfamilies still struggle and the pain I still see in their eyes makes me want to help more.
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I rarely leave a response, however i did somе seaгching аnd wound up heгe Claudettе
Grееtings! Very helpful aԁvісe in thiѕ particular
articlе! It іѕ the little changes that mаkе thе greateѕt changes.
Thanκs fоr shаring!
For a period of time, my youngest daughter spent half the time with me and half the time with her dad. We were in the same city, so it wasn’t as much of a challenge, but we did plan activities. We also had things at both homes so that the transportation of belongings and clothing was reduced.
Having belongings in both homes really helps a child feel they belong and have two homes. It’s challenging for them to always be between two places. Stability and consistency is really important for children. Glad to see that you made your daughter’s transitions between homes easier for her.
Claudette,
SUPER article! Coming to you from the UBC! These are great suggestions in making better situation for what already is a difficult position many kids, and remarried parents deal with today. It is absolutely a soft spot in my heart how the breaking up of our families is affecting not only the kids and their parents, but our society in general. I agree with you that we may not always be able to control the situations that get us to where we are at BUT you can definitely make the most of the time you have and the things you can control! Making life joyful for the kids is key! THANKS so much for sharing; super job!
Jeff, thanks for your feedback. Seeing my son and stepdaughters go through challenges because we as adults couldn’t be adults turned my life. Now, it’s my passion to help others create strong families.
What a fantastic niche! I dealt with it in my youth. Summer can be much more fun and stress-free with your suggestions!
Thanks Donavan for sharing. I’ve seen adults who were is stepfamilies still struggle and the pain I still see in their eyes makes me want to help more.