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I'm sitting in my office looking at all the STUFF that surrounds me and I’m thinking: OMG!!!! I need to do something now! But where do I start? The biggest question for me is what do I do with these odds and ends? Not too long ago, I hosted a radio show with a coach colleague of mine, Sue Rasmussen where we talked about how clutter affects our lives. During our conversation, Sue shared with us that clutter not only impedes our physical world but also our emotional and spiritual lives. It brought me back to when our kids were teens and how their rooms were a mess. I struggled with knowing what to do about it. Should I go in and throw everything away in giant green garbage bags or get a cleaning crew in here with hazmat suits and get rid of everything? Looking at their rooms would literally constrict my airways, feeling as if someone had a hand around my throat and squeezing it. My heart would be racing is if I had just ran a marathon. Now, understand that it’s not that our kids were abnormal. It was your typical teenager habitat: cloths on the floor, beds unmade and stuff all over the place. One of our teens didn't want to throw away anything because “it reminds me of so and so who gave this to me” or "what if I need it one day?" The problem was that I could relate to what she was saying and I was secretly having a hard time dealing with my own mini-hording issues. My biggest fear was that I would end up living in a dump. I had to learn to let go, not only of my personal belongings but of the way our kids kept their rooms. The constant agony would actually keep me awake some nights just thinking about it. So we had to come up with a plan, something that we could all agree to and keep some peace in our family. We created some non-negotiable rules such as no food in the rooms (that was after finding a plate with unidentifiable, moldy something under the bed) and everyone had to bring their clothes downstairs to the laundry room and then bring them back upstairs and put away in their drawers. The rest of the house, places we shared together had to be neat otherwise, I would throw it away (including my things). Other than that, my husband and I agreed that we wouldn’t look in their rooms (the kids kept their doors closed). It was agreed though that periodically, there would be unannounced “inspections” for any rules broken. With time, the kids did learn to take care of their own clutter, and I learned to handle mine. My biggest problem became knowing what do I do with all my books, academic papers and research that I had accumulated over the years? What about those gifts I got from family and friends? And the teddy bears the kids left behind when they moved into their own homes? Sue gave us some great suggestions as to ways to sort our things and then what to do with it. To find out how you can get started on getting organized and declutter your home and life, go to https://www.suerasmussen.com/ Since I started letting go of my stuff, I feel freer to live in the moment, not be overwhelmed with all the things that surround me and be more present with those I love. Now off I go and start packing those boxes for Goodwill and Craigslist.

Tags

blended family, building relationships, clutter, emotions, hard time, organizing the home, radio show, spiritual lives, stepfamilies, Stress, teen daughters, typical teenager

About the Author

CLAUDETTE CHENEVERT, aka The Stepmom Coach, works with women as they struggle to create a cohesive family life. As a speaker, author and stepfamily professional, Claudette mentors and guides stepmothers through the process of establishing a harmonious and thriving home life for their families. Her newest title, “The Stepmom’s Book of Boundaries,” is now available on Amazon.com and elsewhere. Learn about her coaching practice and self-study program for stepmoms at StepmomCoach.com.

Claudette Chenevert

The original content you just enjoyed is copyright protected by The Stepmom Coach—aka Claudette Chenevert—who proudly offers information, tips, products and other resources for building better relationships “one STEP at a time” via 1:1 coaching, self-guided coursework and more. Suitability is to be determined by individual users based on their own concerns and circumstances, as The Stepmom Coach does not endorse and is not liable for opinions expressed by third parties (i.e., advertisers, affiliates, audience members, clients).


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  1. I know that as long as I am surrounded by too much of everything in my life, I feel like I’m in a rat race. What about you?

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  1. I know that as long as I am surrounded by too much of everything in my life, I feel like I’m in a rat race. What about you?

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