How To Be a United Stepfamily.

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“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
― Maya Angelou

Few things can be compared to the feeling of love. The very thought that someone adores and longs to be with you gives you a new lease on life even if your divorce or separation had been agonizing. Love gives life to our bodies and makes us walk with a spring in our step. Being in love is both exhilarating and heavenly and that is why you need the following these tips if you’re thinking of moving in with your partner. These tips are even more crucial if both or either of you have children.

Be realistic! You’re the one in love and not your kids. If you bear in mind that it’s only the two of you who are crazy in love for each other and not your kids, you’ll be a little bit more clear-headed when dealing with issues regarding your children. The kids may be secretly wishing that you and Mom/Dad will one day soon, get back together and that this new person won’t be around for long. The kids may even try to hate your spouse for fear of loyalty binds. The worst you can do is demand that they love your significant other. The more you “force” the relationship, the more the kids may make your life difficult and challenging, hoping that things will get back to “the way it used to be.” Give the kids time to accept your reality and help them let go of their fantasy.

Look for ways to have fun together. Whenever people are out of their home setting, they are more likely to behave a bit more carefree, less restrictive. It’s during such moments that quiet people tend to speak their minds and scream at the top of their voices while playing outdoor games. Having fun with the two sets of kids will go a long way in bonding the family. Come up with places to go and enjoy more togetherness.

Prepare the kids early in advance. It’s always a good idea to let your kids know that you’re in a relationship long before you move in with your partner. The mistake most of us make is to think that they’re kids and we’re adults. Truth is, even if they are kids, they’re part of you and if not treated with respect, can make your world a living hell. Be courteous enough to involve them from as soon as you feel this is a serious and committed relationship. Allow your partner to visit and participate in some of the family activities. This will help break the ice long before you get married.

Give much but expect less. This slogan will help you to stay sane when you receive no gratitude from the people you sacrifice for. If you keep weighing what you receive against what you give, you will be discouraged and burn out. Some kids will think that you are faking and may seem indifferent in the beginning. However, if you persist on being affectionate and loving they will turn around and return your kindness.

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      You’re welcome Amar. Relationships can be complicated but with a few wise tips, it can really make a difference in how well that foundation is set.

  • Great ideas! I just learned about “love bombing” today and you’re echoing some of the reasons for starting a practice of showering people with love and acts of kindness here 🙂

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      I’ve never heard of the term “Love Bombing”. I love to learn new things every day. Love and Kindness are the best way to go.

  • Linda Luke says:

    This is an excellent guide for step parents. Keep up the good work – people need to read your blog.

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      Thank you Linda. With more than 50% of families now is some form of stepfamily, we all need a little help once in a while.

  • The Great Gordino says:

    some good tips here! I can relate – I was lucky in that the women I had relationships with had already seen other men previously, so the children were used to the idea. Even so I found it a challenge, and followed most of these tips to help me! Cheers, Gordon

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      Gordon, no matter how many times the kids see their parents date, it’s always challenging for everyone, trying to find out how everyone fits in. There is no magic pill, only lots of patience and love.

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    Tags

    acceptance, appreciation, building relationships, high expectations, marriage, sense of self., stepfamilies

    About the Author

    CLAUDETTE CHENEVERT, aka The Stepmom Coach, works with women as they struggle to create a cohesive family life. As a speaker, author and stepfamily professional, Claudette mentors and guides stepmothers through the process of establishing a harmonious and thriving home life for their families. Her newest title, “The Stepmom’s Book of Boundaries,” is now available on Amazon.com and elsewhere. Learn about her coaching practice and self-study program for stepmoms at StepmomCoach.com.

    StepmomCoach

    The original content you just enjoyed is copyright protected by The Stepmom Coach—aka Claudette Chenevert—who proudly offers information, tips, products and other resources for building better relationships “one STEP at a time” via 1:1 coaching, self-guided coursework and more. Suitability is to be determined by individual users based on their own concerns and circumstances, as The Stepmom Coach does not endorse and is not liable for opinions expressed by third parties (i.e., advertisers, affiliates, audience members, clients).


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    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      You’re welcome Amar. Relationships can be complicated but with a few wise tips, it can really make a difference in how well that foundation is set.

  • Great ideas! I just learned about “love bombing” today and you’re echoing some of the reasons for starting a practice of showering people with love and acts of kindness here 🙂

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      I’ve never heard of the term “Love Bombing”. I love to learn new things every day. Love and Kindness are the best way to go.

  • Linda Luke says:

    This is an excellent guide for step parents. Keep up the good work – people need to read your blog.

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      Thank you Linda. With more than 50% of families now is some form of stepfamily, we all need a little help once in a while.

  • The Great Gordino says:

    some good tips here! I can relate – I was lucky in that the women I had relationships with had already seen other men previously, so the children were used to the idea. Even so I found it a challenge, and followed most of these tips to help me! Cheers, Gordon

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      Gordon, no matter how many times the kids see their parents date, it’s always challenging for everyone, trying to find out how everyone fits in. There is no magic pill, only lots of patience and love.

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}
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    • How To Be a United Stepfamily.
    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      You’re welcome Amar. Relationships can be complicated but with a few wise tips, it can really make a difference in how well that foundation is set.

  • Great ideas! I just learned about “love bombing” today and you’re echoing some of the reasons for starting a practice of showering people with love and acts of kindness here 🙂

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      I’ve never heard of the term “Love Bombing”. I love to learn new things every day. Love and Kindness are the best way to go.

  • Linda Luke says:

    This is an excellent guide for step parents. Keep up the good work – people need to read your blog.

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      Thank you Linda. With more than 50% of families now is some form of stepfamily, we all need a little help once in a while.

  • The Great Gordino says:

    some good tips here! I can relate – I was lucky in that the women I had relationships with had already seen other men previously, so the children were used to the idea. Even so I found it a challenge, and followed most of these tips to help me! Cheers, Gordon

    • Claudette Chenevert says:

      Gordon, no matter how many times the kids see their parents date, it’s always challenging for everyone, trying to find out how everyone fits in. There is no magic pill, only lots of patience and love.

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

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