We often hear about work/life balance, but what about balancing your life between being a stepmom and that of being a wife/partner? Wouldn’t it be great to have it all nice and neatly organized so that you have a sense of calm and stability?
Having balance in your life means that you can do what needs to be done to keep your stepfamily life functioning and still feel you have time for personal fulfillment, to do the things you really enjoy and want to do. Having balance is the ideal blend of those two areas.
To create more balance in your life, become aware of how you’re spending your time. Notice where you’re satisfied, where you may be imbalance and what you’d like to change.
Next create your own vision of a balanced day. How do you aspire your ideal day to look while enjoying the ideal combination of being a stepmom and wife/partner?
Identify the obstacles that interfere with your pursuit for balance such as your own thoughts, words and actions. Also look at other obstacles such as your stepkids’ schedules and actions or the ex-wife’s opinions about what you do in your home.
And finally, put it all into ‘action’. Awareness, desire and identifying your obstacles are important, but to move toward balance, you need to take action.
Creating life balance is not a destination. It is a dynamic state of awareness and choices. Try these simple tips to help move you toward the life you desire.
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It seems that balance is talked about as being necessary, but harder to define. I think, Claudette, you have given us a very useful way to understand and respond by saying “Creating life balance is not a destination. It is a dynamic state of awareness and choices.'”
Love the “creating life balance is not a destination. It is a dynamic state of awareness and choices.” quote. Which means that we will always be in the state of creating balance, which is OK. As long as we stay conscious and aware that this is the case, we won’t become discouraged.
I’m not a stepmother; however, I think we all would benefit from balance in our life. I have balance in my life–no longer see-sawing and experiencing extremes of the highs and lows. I learned to understand and appreciate that my happiness does not depend on another person or external circumstance, which has brought be peace and balance.
Great to hear Rachel that you have balance in your life. With stepmoms, they often feel they have no control over their home life, what with kids coming and going, last minute schedule changes and people not respecting boundaries. When we learn and understand that balance needs reevaluation long term, it helps not to become overwhelmed by it.
Thanks for sharing.
Balancing life is a constant challenge for me, as I believe it is for many. It’s so important to understand your personal priorities – not those that others would have you embrace – and then to honour them. Families are complicated and the demands can make you forget the importance of self-care.
I agree Tamuria that family demands can at times hijack our sense of balance, especially those in stepfamilies. I’m with you that when you know and understand your personal priorities -AKA boundaries – it helps to have a better feeling of balance. This doesn’t mean we’re in balance ALL THE TIME. When out of balance, we know were to go back to in order to feel that way.
I imagine being a stepmom is a really challenging position to be in. Being a wife is tough enough – lol. It takes a lot of choices, as you mentioned, love, patience, boundaries, and communication to make a happy home. Regardless of what’s going on around us, self-care and self-compassion are critical to ensuring we have enough ‘fuel’ to take care of our family. Step-parenting is especially challenging. I remember when my ex-husband was acclimating to being a step-parent for my three kids, it didn’t go well. I’ll share this article out as I know many stepmoms who can use this guidance.
Great points and from experience, I can tell you being a stepmom can throw you out of balance even if you’re altogether balanced otherwise. It’s a challenge. Great article and great calling.
It seems regardless of our life situation, balance is an ongoing pursuit. I imagine it is more challenging when you bring together two families and that the age of the children and what stage in life they are, is key. One thing I have learned, is that we all need to make sure we put ourselves at the top of our list to make sure we stay healthy. Our health depends on how we show up for others!
You are so right Beverley. When we don’t prioritize ourselves and our needs, everyone suffers,, no matter what stage in life you are in.