Coming Together as a Stepfamily

Close up of bicycle. Background is grass with blue sky.

Living in a stepfamily has its pains and rewards.
Not everyone has issues with there stepfamilies just like
“traditional” families are not perfect either. 

But one of the greatest pride a stepfamily can achieve is
if they can manage to all come together, biological parents
as well as stepparents and celebrate life’s many magical moments.

Coming Together As A Stepfamily

Living in a stepfamily is like going on a challenging but rewarding journey. Just like other families, it's not always perfect, but the goal is to work together, no matter if you're a biological parent, stepparent, or child, to make the most out of life. So, here are a few tips to help you do just that.


1. Crafting a Family Vision with Realistic Expectations

Involve everyone in drafting a family vision—a shared dream of how your united family looks now and how it aspires to be in the future. A clearly defined vision acts as a roadmap, helping navigate the path ahead. Just remember, this vision should be as positive as it is realistic.

2. Keep Moving Ahead, One Step at a Time

There will be days when you wonder why you got involved with someone who already has kids. But remember, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Learn to work with them, and take the time to nurture your relationship. It's like a garden—it needs care to grow and flourish.

3. Prioritizing the Couple Relationship

Why? Because a strong couple acts as the backbone of a resilient family. When challenges arise, the ability to lean on each other becomes crucial. Everything else falls into place. It's especially important when you're blending two families—you need to be united, or the family may struggle to stick together.

4. Establishing a Support Network

Stepfamilies face their own unique challenges, and it can be tough to handle them without any support. So, find someone who understands your situation—maybe a support group, a counselor, or even a trusted friend. It can help to talk things through and see things from a different point of view.

5. Patience and a Little Laughter Go a Long Way

It's important to think before you speak, especially when you're upset. Try to see things from the other person's perspective. Your stepkids might say something that seems directed at you, but it may not be. Remember, kids are known for their eye-rolling—it's not personal. As long as they're not being disrespectful, decide how important it really is. Learning to pick your battles and taking a breather before reacting can make the journey much smoother.

When you feel loved and supported, you may find it easier to accept your stepchildren's other parent and see them as part of the extended family, not as competition. The stepkids might then be able to have everyone they care about around during special occasions like birthdays, graduations, and weddings.

Being part of a stepfamily isn't always easy, but with patience, love, and understanding, you can make it work. You're all in this together, so remember to take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey.

Want to get more tips on helping you build and create the kind of stepfamily you want? Join our Stepmom Resource Library where you'll get access to tip cheats, worksheets, members only blogs, mini courses and so much more.  

Click here to learn more. 

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Claudette Chenevert


I've been on this stepmom journey for over 30 years. It's a process with many ups and downs. I've learned and taught ways to become resilient to the ever-growing challenges of stepmom and stepfamily life.

I help you to embrace to good and deal with the bad, by helping you build and create a stronger and healthier stepfamily, one STEP at a time.

Claudette Chenevert - The Stepmom Coach

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