Prioritizing Self-Care: Why It Matters
For many stepmoms, the holiday season is a challenging time, layered with expectations, family traditions, and a whirl of emotions. While this season can bring joy, it can also drain us, especially if we’re constantly giving without taking time to refuel. I’ve experienced firsthand how essential it is to prioritize self-care, and how neglecting it can lead to burnout, strained relationships, and even feelings of hopelessness. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a vital step in building the resilience needed to truly enjoy the holidays.
The Impact of Stress
Fall has always been a tough season for me. Over the years, I’ve experienced several personal losses during this time, and it’s often left me feeling depleted and tired. In my past life as a hairdresser, October marked the beginning of a busy season that stretched straight through to Christmas. Women would book regular appointments, coming in weekly to prepare for holiday gatherings, and we’d count the days down together. This routine felt festive, but it was also exhausting, both mentally and physically.
At that time, self-care wasn’t even on my radar. I was a single mom with a young son, juggling work and home responsibilities. I didn’t think I had the option to slow down—I had to be “on” all the time, shouldering everything alone. This became my norm, and when Bernard came into my life, I struggled to accept his help. Whenever he’s asked what he could do to help, my automatic response was “nothing.” It’s a habit I still catch myself falling into today.
I didn’t realize then that by not taking time for myself, I was unintentionally harming my health and relationships. The stress and exhaustion built up, and I found myself feeling irritated, yelling more often, and losing sleep. Eventually, I noticed that I was snapping at the people I loved the most. That’s when I realized something had to change.
Why Pre-Holiday Self-Care is Essential
My story might resonate with you. Perhaps you’ve also felt like you have to be “on” constantly, especially as the holiday season approaches. But here’s the thing: starting a self-care routine before the holiday madness begins can make all the difference. Think of self-care as a toolkit—a way to build the mental and emotional resilience that will help you handle the season’s demands with more calm, clarity, and energy.
Back then, I wasn’t yet aware that by taking care of myself, I would ultimately be taking care of my family too. My friend Josy was the one who finally helped me see that it was okay to do “nothing” sometimes. I still remember how emotional I felt when she told me that I wasn’t lazy or “less than” if I simply sat down to rest. Someone was giving me permission to stop and breathe, and it felt so freeing.
Busting the Myth of Selfishness
A lot of stepmoms feel that putting themselves first, even for a moment, is selfish. I felt that way too. Anytime I wanted to read a book or go for a walk, there was this pull telling me I should be doing something “productive.” This guilt was rooted in my upbringing—I grew up believing that sitting still or relaxing meant I was lazy, and that being lazy was somehow a reflection of my worth. I carried that mindset well into adulthood, always staying busy and making sure I had something to “show” for my time.
But here’s what I’ve learned: self-care isn’t about neglecting others; it’s about making sure we’re whole and healthy enough to show up for our loved ones. When we’re running on empty, it’s nearly impossible to be patient, present, and supportive. Allowing ourselves moments of rest and renewal is one of the most selfless things we can do because it enables us to be there fully for the people who rely on us.
Building Your Resilience Toolkit
If you’re reading this and nodding along, thinking, Yes, this is me, I want to encourage you to start now. Reflect on what self-care means to you. It could be something as simple as a few minutes of peace with your morning coffee or a commitment to a daily walk outside. You don’t need to overhaul your routine all at once. Small, intentional actions can make a big difference.
And remember, taking care of yourself isn’t a one-time thing. It’s about building habits that support you long-term, helping you manage stress and enjoy the holiday season without feeling overwhelmed. By prioritizing self-care now, you’re setting yourself up to approach the holidays with a fuller, more joyful heart.
Stay tuned for the next part of this series, where we’ll dive into creating a self-care routine that fits into your daily life. For now, just know that you have permission to pause, breathe, and fill your own cup. You deserve it, and so does your family.
Why Download This Free Ebook on Stepmom Self-Care?
As a stepmom, it’s easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else, often leaving yourself last. But the truth is, prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish—it’s essential for a balanced, fulfilling life. Self-Care for Stepmoms offers practical tips and encouragement to help you feel more energized, resilient, and peaceful. With actionable strategies designed just for stepmoms, this free ebook will guide you to recharge, set healthy boundaries, and show up as your best self for you and your family. Download your copy today and take the first step toward a more balanced, joyful life!