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Is having an ours baby in a stepfamily something that's realistic?

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s dream was to become a stepparent. Having children and a family – YES! But being a stepparent – no.

Over the years, I’ve talked with many stepmoms who wanted children of their own, to know what it’s like to have their own children. For most, it’s was a dream since they were little girls, to hold and nurture their own child.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case for every woman who desires to start their own families. It can feel very lonely at times.

There are women who deal with infertility issues, something they weren’t aware of before being in a committed relationship. For others, their partners aren’t receptive or open to having more children. 

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Our Personal Challenge With Ours Baby Decision

For myself and Bernard, we had long conversations about adding another child to our family. In the end, we felt it wouldn’t be a very logical decision in our situation. We didn’t want this child to be born with a job of merging our families together. And so, we never had an “ours” baby.

black and white photo of newborn in the hands on man and woman

Expectations VS Reality

In The Stepfamily Summit , I talked with Heidi Farrell about what it’s like having an “ours” baby and some of the challenges they faced. She shared her surprise at the reaction her stepkids gave them at the news of having a stepsibling. It’s wasn’t at all what they expected.

Later, I had a conversation with Laura Petherbridge on the topic of the Childless and Childfree stepmom. One of her points was on the importance of having the conversation up front and at the beginning of the relationship about whether to have children or not. I’m glad that we did this, not that the decision wasn’t easy of fun.

If you’ve been having thoughts about having an ‘ours’ baby and wondered where to start or what to talk about, these two interviews will definitely give you some great insights and advice on where to start.

Where To Get More Information About Ours Baby

The Ultimate Stepfamily Summit was created to help stepfamilies have a better sense of what's normal and what's not. Too often, couples come together to create a new family not knowing the difference between expectations and reality. 

To learn more about this annual event that takes place every mid September (in honor of National Stepfamily Day) check out our website at www.thestepfamilysummit.com


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Tags

blended family, child of her own, emotions, infertility, ours baby, relationship, stepchildren, stepfamilies, stepmom

About the Author

CLAUDETTE CHENEVERT, aka The Stepmom Coach, works with women as they struggle to create a cohesive family life. As a speaker, author and stepfamily professional, Claudette mentors and guides stepmothers through the process of establishing a harmonious and thriving home life for their families. Her newest title, “The Stepmom’s Book of Boundaries,” is now available on Amazon.com and elsewhere. Learn about her coaching practice and self-study program for stepmoms at StepmomCoach.com.

Claudette Chenevert

The original content you just enjoyed is copyright protected by The Stepmom Coach—aka Claudette Chenevert—who proudly offers information, tips, products and other resources for building better relationships “one STEP at a time” via 1:1 coaching, self-guided coursework and more. Suitability is to be determined by individual users based on their own concerns and circumstances, as The Stepmom Coach does not endorse and is not liable for opinions expressed by third parties (i.e., advertisers, affiliates, audience members, clients).


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