Why Christmas Time Can Be Challenging
and How to Make It a Little Brighter

If you’re spending Christmas day—or any holiday—alone, it’s understandable to feel like this time of year can really suck. The world around us seems to glow with festive lights, cheerful music, and messages of togetherness, which can make being on your own feel even harder.

I’ve been fortunate to have Bernard, our kids, and grandkids to share the holidays with most years. But I know what it’s like to spend Christmas on my own. Those times were tough. It’s only one day out of the year, but the loneliness can feel overwhelming. For some people, it’s not just a one-off experience but a recurring reality. I’ve had friends, colleagues, and clients tell me directly, “It sucks!”

The Pressure of the "Perfect Holiday"

We’re bombarded with the idea that the holidays are The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. And maybe they are for some—and that’s fantastic. But it’s important to acknowledge that it’s not the case for everyone. If your kids or step-kids are with their other parent, you might feel that pang of emptiness. If you’ve recently lost someone you love or gone through a separation, the holidays can intensify your grief.

Even having a full house doesn’t always guarantee happiness. I’ve had moments where I felt the sting of loneliness despite being surrounded by family. It’s a reminder that our emotional experiences are deeply personal and valid, regardless of our circumstances.

A Movie That Hit Home

I recently watched A Christmas Winter Song on Lifetime. It’s about Fred, a homeless former jazz singer, and Clio, who’s grieving her father. Together, they rediscover the holiday spirit. It’s a touching story with a happy ending—a comforting escape, sure, but not always reflective of real life. I couldn’t help but think, That’s nice, but…

Sometimes, a feel-good movie isn’t enough to counteract the weight of loneliness during the holidays. For those struggling, the season can feel isolating, even if family and friends are just a call away.

Shifting Your Perspective

I can’t magically change your circumstances. Holidays can be hard—I get it. But there are things you can do to ease the sadness and bring a spark of joy into your day. It’s all about creating small, intentional moments that feel special to you.

Here are some ideas that might help:

• Wrap Gifts for Yourself: Treat yourself to something you genuinely want and wrap it up. On Christmas morning, you’ll have something to look forward to. It’s a simple way to show yourself love.
• Prepare a Special Meal: Use your best china and silverware. Light candles, play some soothing music, and make the moment feel luxurious—even if it’s just for you.
• Create a Cozy Atmosphere: If you don’t have a fireplace, no problem! Technology has you covered. There are plenty of crackling fire videos online that bring warmth to your space.
• Play Your Favorite Music: Music has a unique way of shifting your mood. For an extra boost, get up and dance—it’s impossible not to smile when you’re moving to your favorite tunes.
• Read a Book: Dive into a story that whisks you away to another world. If you’ve placed a book under the tree for yourself, even better.
• Dive into a Hobby: Christmas is a great day to indulge in a favorite pastime or start a new one. Check under the tree—you might find something that inspires your creativity.
• Go to the Movies: Did you know theaters are often open on Christmas Day? Treat yourself to a film you’ve been wanting to see.
• Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen: Helping others is a powerful way to connect and feel part of something bigger. I have friends who’ve turned this into a cherished holiday tradition.
• Plan a Trip: The holiday season can be an excellent time to travel, with great deals and opportunities to meet new people.

Turning "Alone" into "At Peace"

One Christmas, I decided to focus on treating myself kindly rather than lamenting what I didn’t have. I made my favorite meal, wrapped a few small gifts, and spent the day reading a book I’d been saving. It didn’t erase the loneliness, but it transformed the day into something meaningful.

What about you? How do you cope when the holidays feel less than merry? Share your thoughts in the comments—and if you know someone who might be struggling, pass this along. A small gesture can make a big difference.

Let’s help each other find a little light in what can be a tough time of year.