“Mom! Why does everyone need to be celebrating Christmas on the same day? Can’t we just spread it out somehow?”
My 28 year old son is living the Christmas nightmare that many “modern” family experience today. “Where do you go for dinner, lunch? If I don’t see my parents, will they be upset? But what about my kids? I want to be there for them too. And my partner’s family wants us there too, but we can’t be at both places at the same time.” URGGGG!!!!!
I felt bad for my son who felt caught in the middle of all this Christmas juggling. He’s trying to make his girlfriend happy by going to her family, continuing with our Christmas tradition of opening our gifts on Christmas morning and being with his daughter whom he sees once a week and every other weekend.
It’s taking the joy out of the entire purpose of getting together. I could feel his pain and anxiety as I’ve been in his shoes many times. My husband and I had many arguments over the years about why we should do our own thing and try not to please everyone on the same day. “Where are the kids going to go? With who? For how long?” It doesn’t end when you are a grownup. It sometimes gets more complicated. I totally understand my son’s dilemma. I also understand my extended family, wanting to hold on to our Holiday traditions, one more year. It’s tough.
After reading his post, I called him to share with him that it’s OK if he can’t be here all day, that as his mom, I understand what it’s like to try to please everyone and feel like it’s not happening. I told my son that I loved him and I will enjoy seeing him and his girlfriend when they can be with us. I sensed a huge release of tension from him and knew that he felt once again empowered to make the right decision.
It’s normal that he wanted to please his girlfriend and that’s important. I’ve been a strong advocate of putting your partner first in life because that is the foundation of a strong family. Now, it’s time for me to I walk my talk.
So as my son said, Christmas is supposed to be joyful, not stressful. I agree. Merry Christmas. Love you son.