I Do, Over And Over Again.

When Hubby and I first got married, it was a last minute thing. We'd been living together for close to seven years and thought to ourselves "This is OK. No need for more. It's working out fine for us." Truth was that I always secretly wished to get married, but often felt it would have been too complicated. I had in-law issues (now resolved and happy to be together) and dealing with (step)kid problems. There was always that foot in the door if ever things actually didn't work out. Then one night, Hubby came home and told me he was offered a job in the States (that's how Canadians refer the USA as). I asked him "Well, you said yes, right?" "Ummm no. Actually I thought you wouldn't want to go." To make a long story short, we had 33 days to sell a house, sell my hairdressing business, find a new house in VA, get permission from our kids' other parents to allow us to take them out of the country and give us legal rights, get immunized (us and our dog), have our van pass safety inspection, find a moving company that would pack all our things and bring it across the border all while enjoying Christmas and New Years. We were 7 days before the big day when Hubby called me at home. We were both tired and nervous. So many details we had to look at. I had never done such a bold move in my life, especially with three teenagers at home. Hubby calls me and says to me: "We have some bad news about the move." I froze. It's not the time to kid around, please. So I asked him what was wrong? Was it his ex who was holding us back with some legalities? Did his new boss change his mind? Was the house we were renting burnt to the ground? What was it? Hubby tells me that unless we're married, my son and I can't live with him in the States. Technicalities with Visas and Immigration. He proceeds to tell me we HAVE TO get married. I fell on our bed and started to cry. This was NOT the way I wanted to be proposed to and definitely not because WE HAD TO either. After a full 10 minutes of crying on the phone, explaining to him that I only want to get married if he really wanted to and not because we had to, Hubby tells me yes, yes, he loves me and it's going to be fine. I finally say to him, "Listen, I'll marry you only if you ask me properly and ask my Mom." Later that day, he calls me back to let me know we need to get married that coming weekend. WHAT? I don't even get to go shopping, have bridesmaids, a flower girl, the whole bit? Nope. We had to decide if we were flying to Las Vegas for a quick "I Do" or to Plattsburg, NY where we could take one hour to drive, get our marriage license, tie the knot and come back and finish packing our things. We finally decided on Plattsburg, NY because of our time constraint, plus my mom came over to stay with my son and helped me pick a dress (and yes Hubby did ask her permission). Saying I Do in front of strangers, with no family members present was a let down for us. We were happy to be married to each other and it did strengthen our commitment to one another, but we always regretted not having family and friends with us during that special time. When we were nearing our 20th Anniversary of being together, I felt an urge to want to redo our wedding day, to have a redo of that commitment. It was difficult to bring to subject up with Hubby as I knew he was happy just the way things were and probably had no clue that I felt a little cheated from having a special day. When I finally talked to him about it, he was glad to renew our vows, to have those closest to us be a part of such a wonderful day. We wrote our own vows, had our friends help with the ceremony and although not all our kids were able to attend because of circumstances out of their control, we were able to have one of my stepdaughter's there along with our oldest granddaughter. We cried, we laughed, we ate, we danced. Most of all, we remembered why we came together in the first place, the journey we took as a couple and as a family and cherished every moment with family and friends. Renewing our vows gave us the chance to re-evaluate what was beautiful in our lives and thank those who were a part of it. Although our "first" marriage was not too exciting, our renewal made up for it. Now that we are heading towards 25 years, we've already started to make plans for our next vow renewal with our kids, their spouses and all our grandchildren. Can't wait to say "I Do" all over again.